


Five Lives Spinel Never Lived

by GlassRain



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: 5 Times, Corrupted Gems, Cracked Gems, Gem War, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Steven Universe: The Movie Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-10-26 12:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20742266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassRain/pseuds/GlassRain
Summary: The course of Spinel's life could've been very different.But that doesn't necessarily mean it could've been better.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Turns out I have a lot of movie feelings.

The spiky, squishy corrupted Gem gives them a lot of trouble -- there's a nerve-wracking moment when it has Pearl and Rose squeezed together, all their limbs pinned, and Pearl is afraid both of them will poof -- but then she feels the deep warmth of fusion, and Rainbow Quartz dispatches the monster with ease.

Its gemstone falls to land in the grass, facets catching the light as it spins. The cut is perfect. And it's pink, as well.

Shock unfuses the two of them, leaving Pearl to stare openmouthed, while Rose recovers first and dashes over to pick it up. She cradles it in her soft hands, eyes wide.

"It can't be," says Pearl. "Is that -- is it Pink Diamond's Spinel?"

(She understands the gag order -- she really does, Rose's secrets are _important_, and of course they both know what she really means -- but sometimes, when it's just the two of them, Pearl wishes she could say these things more directly. Just to keep things simple.)

"It is," breathes Rose. "I thought -- she should've been evacuated when they pulled the non-combat Gems off-planet! No Spinel should've even _seen_ the war, let alone...this."

"Probably played hide-and-seek with the Topazes," says Pearl. "But instead of seeking, they just left."

Rose shakes her head softly. "I didn't know."

And Spinel wasn't like Pearl, they both leave unsaid. She didn't have any interest in battle or revolution, any secret yearnings for things outside her assigned role of playmate and friend. (Which is a fine thing to choose! As long as it's a _choice_.) 

If only the war had ended differently...or, maybe, if only Pink had never brought her to the colony at all, just kept her in Homeworld-controlled space until they knew it would be safe...

If Rose is thinking any of these things, she doesn't say so out loud, even to Pearl. She just gazes at the corrupted Spinel, while there's no sound except the wind in the tall grass.

When there starts to be a real chance the monster will reform, Pearl puts one of her slender little hands over Rose's, and bubbles the Gem. "We'll figure out how to heal them," she says. "And then...we'll be able to bring her back, and make it right. Someday. Eventually."


	2. Chapter 2

The music box plays a jaunty little tune when you wind it up, then pops open and releases a friendly little figure on springs, which wobbles back and forth until you shove it back inside and start the process all over.

Ronaldo picked it up at an antiques store on a Fryman family vacation in Keystone. During checkout he cackled at the price in a way he thought was subtle, and PeeDee figured he thought the rock embedded in the lid was secretly valuable, or something.

(It sure is _pretty_, all heart-shaped and sparkly, but it has a weird crack across the front and it's probably just plastic.)

Of course Ronaldo would never do something that _normal_. Ever since then, he's been telling anyone who would listen that it's actually Secret Alien Technology, left on Earth by a more advanced race "who will return once humanity advances enough to reach out to them, and welcome us into the galactic family."

He even puts the toy on his dumb blog.

It doesn't have a logo or anything, so PeeDee copies the photo into a post on a "vintage toy nostalgia" forum, hoping someone will say "hey, I have one of those NRFB, here's the maker and the serial number!" No such luck -- a couple people say it's pretty, but it drops off the front page as an unsolved mystery. Oh well.

A year or two later, Ronaldo gives the thing as a present to his girlfriend, and it isn't long before PeeDee forgets it even existed.


	3. Chapter 3

Steven falls out of Lion's mane with a gasp, clutching the mystery gem in both hands. Amethyst and Garnet both lean closer to inspect it, while Lion whuffs and rolls over on his back in the sand.

"Still don't recognise it, buddy," says Amethyst with a shrug. "Sorry."

Garnet adjusts her visor. "I do."

Steven's eyes widen. "Oh good! Was it one of your friends? Your old war buddies? Or -- an enemy too dangerous to bubble?!"

"I don't recognise this Gem personally," amends Garnet. "It's a Spinel -- with an unusually fancy cut -- and I don't remember any of those being in the war at all, let alone one this memorable."

"So what are they like?" Amethyst peers at the gem more closely; Steven offers it to her, and she turns it over to look at all the sides. "I mean, what are they _designed_ to be like, before they decide to feel like individuals or anything."

"Friendly. Playful. Frivolous," says Garnet. "Not programmed with any skills that would be useful for planet-conquering. They're entertainers, usually kept in luxury cities on Homeworld or well-established colonies."

"Huh," says Amethyst. "Do you think Pink Diamond could've brought her?"

A playful entertainer doesn't fit at all with Steven's mental image of the Diamonds, the conquering tyrant-overlords who wanted to destroy the planet. But maybe Spinel _didn't_ fit in! Maybe she wanted to join the rebellion! And if she didn't have any skills that would help in a war zone, maybe Mom _offered_ to bubble her, to bring her back out when she was safe --

Before Steven can finish this train of thought, the Spinel starts to glow, making the beach glitter with pink light. He notices Garnet and Amethyst subtly shift into defensive stances, just in case.

The new Gem reforms mid-scream.

"-- can't! It's not okay, you _can't_, I won't play --"

She trails off, wobbling a bit on her feet as she seems to notice where she is for the first time. It gives Steven a chance to really see how she looks: pink, cute, big-eyed, two fluffy buns with wild hair sticking out of them in all directions.

"Who are you?" asks Spinel, voice cracking. "Where -- how -- where's my Diamond? You have to get to her. You have to stop her!"

"It's all right," says Garnet, in her most reassuring voice. "You're safe now. Pink Diamond can't do anything to you anymore."

"I'm not worried about _me!_ I'm worried about _her!_ She's my _best friend_, and she's going to --"

Spinel breaks off, suddenly fixated on something behind them. Steven turns. None of them heard Pearl approach over the soft swish of the waves, but she's standing not far off, both hands clasped over her mouth like her life depends on it.

"You," says Spinel, hoarse and sad. "You look so different. How long . . . ? Did Pink already do it?"

"You two knew each other," says Garnet slowly. It isn't a question.

And Amethyst adds, "Hey, P . . . ? Is there maybe something you wanna tell us?"

Pearl's hands stay firmly clamped in place, so Steven decides to try. If this doesn't work, maybe he can try licking them. "Pearl? Whatever it is, it's okay. You can say it."

It gets Pearl to pry them slowly apart. "I didn't know where she'd put you," she says to Spinel. "I just knew she tried to tell you, and you didn't take it well -- you would've endangered the whole rebellion, the whole _planet_ \-- and after that --"

Big tears leave streaks down either side of the new Gem's face. "Pink did this to me?"

"She didn't know what else to do."

"W-well, where is she now?" squeaks Spinel. "You . . . you took me out because it's okay now, right?"

And Pearl has to tell her that no, it's not okay, and she doesn't know when it's ever going to be okay again.


	4. Chapter 4

If the loyal armies of Homeworld were startled to see a delicate, decorative Pearl leap into battle with dual-wielding blades, they're even more gobsmacked when a _Spinel_ starts bounding into war zones.

She's a toy! A plaything for Gems who are high-caste enough to get leisure time! She is _comic relief!_

Well, when her noodly limbs weave through an entire Quartz battalion, and knot them up in a big lump that a lucky rebel can poof with a single well-placed shot . . . none of them are laughing.

Also not laughing: Blue and Yellow Diamond, when they privately look over the footage together, and Blue says "Isn't that the playmate we got for Pink?"

It seems impossible. And yet. Her species of Gem is a rare one; her shape was custom-commissioned.

Nobody had ever looked that closely at the renegade Pearl before. The general assumption -- based on her simple, stripped-down outfit and the slightly irregular shape of her Gem -- was that the rebel Rose Quartz had plucked her from a batch of defects. Really, her non-Pearlescent thirst for combat only validates whoever decided to have her harvested in the first place.

But in light of this new evidence, Blue and Yellow recall that a Pearl with a similar defect was assigned to Pink. She had the serious temperament they'd been seeking to properly culture the flighty Diamond, and her baroque shape would make it less of a loss if White had to . . . well . . . pull _this_ one out of circulation, too.

They pay Pink a visit. To offer advice, they say, on dealing with her bizarre little uprising.

Once they have her cornered, they ask how _two_ of her own closest subordinate Gems could have turned against her.

Pink stalls, denies, hedges, accuses. She gives nothing, admits nothing.

In the end, she doesn't have to. After she's been locked up for a few weeks, the Spinel -- who's only been seen in scattered battlefield reports this whole time -- bounces into Blue Diamond's palanquin and confesses to everything. Yes, it was her. Yes, it was Pink's Pearl. As for the Rose Quartz leading all this -- well, her appearances in the past few weeks have been that same Pearl with some dreadful shapeshifting, but _before_ that --

"It's madness!" exclaims Yellow.

"It's a nightmare," sobs Blue.

It is (neither of them says out loud, but both of them are thinking) the kind of thing that White Diamond, if she finds out the full extent of it, might decide is worth shattering _Pink_ over.

They devise an elaborate plan to cover up Pink's mistakes as much as possible. Yellow keeps her imprisoned, and shatters the Spinel just to be safe. Blue takes oversight of the colony and sets her focus on crushing the rebellion. Surely it won't last long now that it has genuine opposition, and its "real" (hah!) leader is gone . . .

She keeps believing this right up until the moment when her bodyguards are in disarray, her own Pearl is pinned by the renegade, and a Bismuth with a weapon she doesn't recognise is leaping for her throat.

White arrives, then. She and Yellow strafe the colony's surface until every Gem on it -- regardless of loyalties, beliefs, or the symbol on her uniform -- is distorted beyond recognition. She escorts Pink back to Homeworld herself, and Yellow refuses to think about it, focuses on setting her backup plan in motion -- using the core of the planet to incubate an experimental weapon -- because she intends to get _something_ out of this horrific crumbling disaster.

She retrieves the shards of Blue, but makes sure every last flake of the Gems who did this will turn into slag.

* * *

_A few thousand years later . . . _

[Different bits of] the Cluster scream[s] in pain, as [she/they] try to re-form [her]themsel[f]ves over and over.

They [she] do[es]n't want to play this game anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

"You probably think it's weird that I called her 'sis', huh."

Amethyst doesn't turn away from the gallery of corrupted Gems. In the faint sheen of the bubble around Jasper, she can just pick up the reflection of Pearl.

"It's . . . not that unexpected," says Pearl, obviously trying to be as tactful as possible. "Most of your reference points for relationships are between organics."

Oh, right. That too. "I kinda meant because she was your enemy. Back in the war. I don't actually know if you'd recognise her, since there's a whole bunch of her? But she told Steven she used to be one of Pink Diamond's."

Pearl tenses up a bit (which isn't something Amethyst used to notice, but these days she's trying harder too). The silence hangs, long enough that Amethyst is about to change the subject when Pearl finally replies. "You'll probably think _this_ is weird, but I'm glad we met her."

"Yeah? Why?"

"When we . . . found you," says Pearl slowly, "we assumed you'd been left on Earth because you were overcooked. Because Homeworld doesn't think there's any value in off-colour Gems. But there was always another possibility. The rest of the Diamonds could've simply abandoned _all_ the Gems from Pink Diamond's court -- no matter how strong their loyalty, or how perfect their cut."

Amethyst picks up the thread. "But now you know they got scooped up and passed around to the other Diamonds. The non-defective ones, anyway." She turns to face Pearl properly, so Pearl can see she's not picking on herself -- it's _their_ standard, not something she's gonna feel bad over, at least not right now.

"Yes. That. It's good to know." Pearl's hand kinda goes to her mouth for a second. She shakes herself and puts it back down. "As much as I think . . . what we did to Pink Diamond . . . was necessary, there are Gems who stayed loyal to her that Rose and I always hoped would come through all right."

"Did you, uh, have a Pearl friend you were worried about, or something?"

Pearl flinches so hard that Amethyst immediately flails her hands to wave the question out of the air. "Never mind! I'm just being nosy. Forget I even asked."

Pink Diamond must've had a Pearl, right? And that whole system, the _ownership_ part, gives Amethyst the heebie-jeebies just to think about -- she can only imagine how much worse it is for someone who _lived_ it. She doesn't have to get pushy for details in order to be glad Pearl's friend is okay.

* * *

_Six thousand years earlier . . . _

Spinel is holding very still (okay, bouncing just a little) when the Garden Warp activates again! She grins wide and stretches her neck upward -- Pink will see that she's still _technically_ standing in the same place, and laugh, and finally tell her the next part of the game.

How long has it been? A year? Several? Spinel wasn't really counting.

But the Gem who steps out of the warp isn't her Pink. She's much too tall. Hair not nearly fluffy enough. And as she steps down onto the walkway, a wave of sadness rolls off her, bringing tears to Spinel's eyes as the plants droop all around her.

"Oh!" exclaims Blue Diamond, hand going to her mouth. "Pink's little friend! You're still here?"

"Uh-huh," says Spinel, trying to sound perky in between sniffles. "I'm supposed to wait for her."

Running a whole colony has got to be _very_ serious and tiring, so Spinel has to be ready for fun more than ever. There's no telling when Pink will get overwhelmed and need a break, to relax and let off some steam with her best friend.

Blue bends on one knee and tries to scoop her up. Squeaking in protest, Spinel stretches her legs between fingers as big as her whole body, trying to keep her feet on the ground. She knows the Diamonds are in charge of things, but she answers to _her_ Diamond first and foremost. "No, put me down, I'm supposed to stay there! That's part of the game!"

"Oh, my poor dear Spinel," says Blue softly. "All Pink's games are over."

Spinel's legs pop back into place with a _sproing_. "Did she tell you that? Where is she? How did she do with her colony?"

The Diamond cradles Spinel to her chest. A tear rolls down her cheek, plopping on Spinel's head with a big splash, dishevelling some of the hair in her perfect heart-shaped buns. "I have some terrible news, little one . . . ."

One story later, Spinel is crying for real.

She can't imagine being able to play the role of a silly, playful friend ever again. No matter that it's the only thing she was designed for. She's never going to be _happy_ again, with or without anyone else.

And a few cycles after _that_, all the feelings and memories are leached out of her along with the pigment, until her face freezes into a blank-eyed smile and she doesn't have to worry about any of it anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> More SU and other fandom stuff on Tumblr: glassrain.tumblr.com


End file.
